His Description

The amount of jealousy and tension that will permeate your neighborhood as a result of putting these shutters on your house is immeasurable.  So much so that I almost didn’t want to keep making these anymore, because I didn’t want to be the reason for any falling outs between you and your neighbors because they just couldn’t handle the way that you went ahead and upped your social class by tenfold and left them in the dust…all from one simple shutter purchase.  Especially because after putting these on your house, you might suddenly find yourself referring to your home as your “manor”, or your “estate”  And you’ll think to yourself - “who am I?  Did I just refer to my quarter-acre property as my ‘kingdom’…and did I tell my neighbor Mike that I’d taken on a new self-appointed nickname, and to call me ‘The [Duke or Duchess]’ moving forward? …Who. Am. I?”  Well, I can answer that.  You’re now the Duke or Duchess of your neighborhood is what you are.  You apparently said so yourself.

So we can’t promise that you won’t become the neighborhood weirdo after putting these on your house - and we can’t be held accountable for your actions under the influence of your new class status.  But what we CAN promise is that these shutters are made with the level of craftsmanship that nobody really seems to put into shutters these days for some reason.  Like, the sturdiness and attention to detail that you might expect for a piece of furniture that’s intended for inside the house.  Except they of course go on the outside.  Absolutely nothing about these is slapped together.

Now go on, you know you always wanted to live on a manor…and be the Lord or Lady of it.  Now you can! Just gotta get the right shutters is all! And we can help you with that.